


Our Own Heroes

by egosoffire



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, F/M, Kylo Ren Redemption, M/M, Multi, Old Love, Redemption, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-23
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-03-08 11:01:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 14,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13456833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/egosoffire/pseuds/egosoffire
Summary: Rey and a redeemed Ben Solo cross the galaxy to save Poe Dameron. The First Order is dying and Hux plans to take Ben's first love down with him.





	1. Chapter 1

Rey watched as Ben’s face went pale, and she wished she could do more than just stand there, staring. The bond that they’d developed was strong, overwhelmingly so at times, and his pain nearly crippled her. She grasped at her heart for a moment, before forcing herself to relax. 

“Ben…” 

“Don’t speak,” he said, voice cold. He began to recite simple facts in a low monotone. She could tell it was his way of comforting himself, of sorting through the chaos. “Hux has taken over The First Order. The man I love, and have loved since childhood is in his custody. Hux wants nothing more than he wants me to suffer.”

“We can stop him.” 

The words didn’t sound nearly as confident as she wished they did, but she wanted to comfort him. Ben was terrified and it was obvious, by the look in his eyes, that he had reason to be. “You and me, Ben...we’re stronger than he could ever imagine.”

“He’s going to suffer for this…” The words were barely audible, but Rey didn’t even need to hear them; honestly, she felt them. Although he was recovering from the darkness, Ben was still prone to violent impulses, extreme outbursts, and Poe’s delicate situation was enough to bring forth a lot of violence. “He will pay.”

Ben left the room, stomping his feet as he did.  That was when Rey was finally able to pay attention to Finn, who had been watching the whole scene, horror in his eyes. Poe meant a lot to Finn, too. 

“He’s going to tear the general apart, isn’t he?” Finn asked, wearily. 

“Probably.”

“Hux is a sadist, deep down,” Finn murmured, reluctantly giving his expert opinion. “He enjoys causing pain, and Kylo Ren was the source of his being humiliated, before he was able to take over with a decimated force. He wants nothing more than revenge. If I know him, I know he sees the war is ending. He wants to go down...and take them both with him.”

“Yes,” Rey replied quietly. “That doesn’t exactly bode well for Poe, does it?”

Finn’s face showed her very clearly what he imagined was being done to Poe.

Rey swallowed and touched his shoulder, hoping that it gave some comfort. “Go to command, and find out what their next move is,” she said. “I’m going to go to Ben and make sure that he doesn’t do anything foolish.” 

She found Ben at the helm of the ship, looking out over the viewpanel. She could feel the heartbeat thrumming in his chest and could feel his anguish just as strong, pulsing inside of him with each beat. Now that she was so close to him, it was like that pain pulsed through her blood, riding on her veins too. 

“Ben, Finn is going to command to see what the next move is going to be…”

He turned around and shook his head. “With my mother no longer leading the Resistance, there will be no concern for him,” he said, matter-of-factly. “He’s not worth going into the only remaining First Order stronghold to save.” 

“We have to give them a chance to do the right thing, first,” Rey said, walking over. Even though she was almost afraid, she laid her hand on Ben’s arm. He turned towards the comfort. “If they fail to do what’s right, then you and I will take action.”

“Why do you care so much?” 

Rey was startled by those words. They came from Ben in nearly a whisper. 

“Why do I care?” she repeated. “Poe Dameron is a friend. He’s always been good to me. He’s a good man and doesn’t deserve whatever’s happening to him…”

“I loved him once. I know that you know we have a...past, but I just wanted to let you know. I loved - no, I love him. I’ve always loved him.” 

“I think he loves you too,” Rey whispered. “I really do. I’m not so good with those kinds of things, but I can see something in Poe’s eyes when he looks at you.” 

Something almost like a smile crossed Ben’s face. It was sad, laced with memory. She couldn’t help think that he had the saddest smile that she had ever seen. 

“He did love me once,” he conceded, but that was all he would give her. “When we were children, I believe that he did love me…” 

“We’ll save him, Ben. I promise.” 

Ben’s pessimism, unfortunately, was not unwarranted. They were forbidden by command from making any moves to rescue Poe. It was a risk they could not afford to take, and also did nothing to forward the purpose of the Resistance. The First Order was dying and Hux was a madman. It was a waste of personnel, when the First Order was finally dying. 

Rey had to stop Ben from severing body parts off the nearest officers in that moment. He drew his lightsaber and she stopped him It had taken every ounce of will, of drawing on the Force within and around her, to stop him, to make him back down. 

“Stay down,” she murmured, when she tossed him back against the wall. He hit it and cast her a betrayed, exhausted look. “Come on Ben, let’s go to your quarters.”

As soon as they were in the tiny room that Ben slept in, the tiny table at his bedside flew across the room, smashing into the wall and splintering. She couldn’t contain Ben much longer.

“Ben!” she yelled, wishing she’d had her lightsaber on her. The sight of the blade would calm him down, get him to think rationally. “Ben Solo, stop.” 

The use of his name was at least somewhat effective. Ben stopped, stilled and looked at her for a long moment. That gave her a chance to speak. Perhaps, she could get through his thick head that way. 

“Freaking out is not going to do any good,” she said firmly. “Poe needs us. He needs you. You’re not going to be any help to him if you lose your center, your balance.” 

He looked at her for a long moment and she stared right back.

“I find balance when I’m with you.”

Rey nodded. She felt the same way about him. Even before he’d deflected, Kylo Ren had been a balancing force in her life, something that helped her find a center in herself. 

“I find it with you, too,” she said pointedly, taking his hand. 

He almost flinched, but then gave in. The physical contact between them happened infrequently, but she could tell that Ben got some pleasure out of it. It seemed to soothe him, to control the wild beast that was the anger inside of him.

She had to admit that she liked it too. When she touched him, when she held his hand, she felt like something inside of herself was being completed. Something was all theirs, special to them. 

Which was silly, because he was a broken man, recovering his life and he loved Poe Dameron. She needed to stop thinking such silly things. Her thoughts were childish and likely the result of a much too lonely life. 

“I say we do what he would do,” she said. “We go in, regardless of the okay. Do you know this base?”

Ben nodded, slowly. “Not as well as I wish I did,” he admitted to her, reluctance in those words. “It’s one that we never imagined we’d have to use. On an isolated planet that’s really no more than a rock in the sky. It’s heavily guarded, a modified factory. Getting in isn’t going to be easy.”

“But it’s doable?” she asked.

“Yes. It is.”

Rey lightly laid her hand over Ben’s again. She could feel the heat in his skin. “We’ll do this, Ben,” she assured. “We just need to think before we act.”


	2. Chapter 2

The plan was formulated over the course of two days. Ben knew, as well as Rey did, that it was insane. He could see the doubt flickering through Rey’s eyes when she looked at him, the uncertainty that she did a decent job of hiding. The girl was brave, and she hid her fears well from most, but with him, it was different.

His mind played tricks on him, showing him the horrific things that Hux could very well be doing to Poe. Hux had always been rather bitter that with Kylo Ren and his force abilities that there was little need for good old fashioned torture. 

Well, now he lacked the force user’s abilities to hold him back and he had always been so fond of using physical force to break their prisoners. 

“Those thoughts are just going to destroy you,” Rey said, as she entered the room. She pressed a hand to his arm and leaned close. 

He found her presence so soothing. It reminded him of how a young Ben Solo had felt whenever Poe was near him. 

“They’ll stop destroying me when we do something about it,” he responded coldly. “Are they ready with the ship?” 

They were Finn and Rose, two individuals who thought the plan was madness. Neither of them trusted him, but they trusted Rey, and he supposed that was enough. They trusted her and they would do this for her, prepare a ship that would take the two of them straight to Hux’s last stand, to the base. 

“They’ll be ready soon.”

The ship was a fighter that barely had room for the two of them. It was decommissioned, so there was no chance that the Resistance generals were tracking it. Yet, Rey could make it fly. He trusted her.

“Let’s get out of here,” he said, slipping into the co-pilot’s seat. He didn’t even care if the result of this rescue mission was his death. He knew Rey could survive and bring Poe home. “Come on.”

So, they took off.

The flight was simple and not at all a struggle. It felt too easy to Ben, who had been expecting an ambush. They were able to land right on the surface of the abandoned planet, though. Apparently, this really was the First Order’s last stand.

“He’s here.”

The realization hit Ben like a ton of bricks. When he reached out with The Force, he could feel the unique energy that he’d expected to come off of Poe Dameron. “He’s here and he’s in a lot of pain,” he added, his stomach clenching.

“Stay focused,” Rey urged. “You lose focus and we might not be able to help him.”

The base was a simply designed one. The walls were tall and fortified and Ben could see the Stormtroopers on guard duty. They were lining the perimeter of the wall, and it seemed near impossible to cross. 

Yet, they weren’t just anyone.

They managed to slip through the back, where two guards were stationed. They were simple minded, young troopers, and it wasn’t hard to get into their heads, forcing them to move out of their post. Rey and Ben slipped through, entering the door when the security was down. 

Ben reached out, stretching his hand as he felt for the man he loved. Rey watched him, and he could see the concern in her warm eyes. He had to admit that there was something special about her, about the girl who had taken over.

“He’s not far from us.”

It was hard for him, to use the Force in this way. He had used it for years to manipulate, to probe into other’s minds, but to look organically for something, for someone, to feel  _ feelings  _ instead of thoughts and memories, well, that was difficult.

They headed down a long, narrow corridor. Ben couldn’t remember if he had ever been on this base, but he had seen the layout before. It worked on a spoke system, the long spindly legs leading into the central control room. That’s not where they wanted to go though. Not quite. There was a staircase and a second floor.

They reached the central control room and stopped behind a large communication system. Over the edge, Ben was able to see that it wasn’t highly staffed. 

It hit him then, how the forces of The First Order had been decimated. When he had deflected, they had stood strong, having the rebellion on the ropes. Now, almost two years later, here he was and it was over for them. Even the Stormtroopers, brainwashed from birth to follow orders, slogged through their duties with an utter sense of hopelessness. 

“It’s really almost over, isn’t it?” Rey whispered. He wouldn’t have heard her if not for their bond. 

It really was.

“Officer’s chambers is up there,” he replied, gesturing to the top of the room, where a staircase led to a double bolted door. “I can feel something coming from that door, can’t you?”

Rey paused for a moment, looking at the door. Her skills were perhaps less refined than his, but she was the most powerful creature that he had ever laid eyes on. Her eyes widened as she found what she was looking for.

“Ben, we have to hurry.”

“Intruders!”

A shout came from Ben’s left. It was a stormtrooper, voice loud, mechanical. The blaster fire was instant, and Ben felt once again at ease with his instincts. He dropped down onto his knees to avoid the blast.

Rey was also instinct to him. Lightsaber ignited, she turned and slashed at another pair of troopers who came for them. The sparks ignited from the armor. Every move of Ben’s was in sync with hers. 

It wasn’t quite like it had been with Poe Dameron, all those years ago, but he found he loved her. He was one with her. 

It felt like the fight lasted years, the way that battles could stretch out over time and space. People ran, people fell and Ben didn’t feel anything. It was nice, almost, the way that the emotions were taken out of the picture. He could kill every First Order officer and Stormtrooper on the base and he wouldn’t care, as long as he met his goal.

It was nice for emotion to shut down for a time. 

He felt pain, a blow to the back of the head, but ignored that as well. 

“Kylo Ren.”

Hux’s voice seemed to be a disembodied spirit, spread through the base on a speaker system. Ben flinched. The fight stopped with those words as well, as the troopers had no direct orders. 

“You came all the way here for the pilot? I have to say, even though I expected it, it’s tragic.”

“It’s over!” Rey yelled, while Ben remained frozen. “You know as well as we do that this fight has ended. The First Order is dead.” 

“It is.”

Hux’s simple admission made Ben flinch. Hux had always been so passionate, so in love with the ideals, with his Stormtrooper program. He had defined delusions of grandeur for so long, and now he was admitting defeat. He was admitting that it was over.

“Let him go,” Ben said firmly. “Let the pilot go, and surrender. I will see personally that you are treated well.”

“They do tend to treat their enemies well, don’t they, Ren?” Hux’s voice echoed loudly. “Sometimes, in fact, they forgive him and bring him into their fold. They treat the bodies of their own that fell before him like nothing.

Ben flinched. It was an attempt to get into his head, throw him off, but it was a good one, because it was true. The Resistance had taken him in, in spite of every person he’d killed, every life he destroyed. They said they did it in honor of his mother, and that judgment would be reserved until the day the war was over. He knew he didn’t deserve that kindness. 

Didn’t deserve it, yet he had it.

“You know I’m going to kill you.” 

“Yes, I know.” Hux’s voice was quiet, yet had the quality of someone deranged. “I know that you’re going to kill me, and that my death is going to be a devastatingly painful one. That’s who you are, Kylo Ren. Yet, I have decided that I will take down the one you love with you. He screams so pretty.”

“So that’s what this is?” Ben asked, aghast. “Some kind of overdramatic deathwish?”

“I learned from the very best there is.”


	3. Chapter 3

They were immediately let into the general’s chambers. Rey didn’t like being led straight into things, so her first instinct was to lunge at the red haired man, lightsaber inches from his throat. It felt good, powerful, and tapped into that part of her that she wanted to avoid -- the part that was drawn to the darkness. 

“A little melodramatic,” Hux drawled. “I can see why you like her, Ren. Fits your style.”

“Give us Poe, and you don’t have to die,” she urged, earnestly. “You can be taken alive. This doesn’t have to end in destruction and pain for everyone here. We can help you…” 

“Oh, but it does have to end that way.”  

Out of nowhere, Rey felt her lightsaber being drawn out of her hand, but nobody had laid a hand on her. It was Ben, using the Force to propel the item out of her hand and past his left shoulder. It hit the wall, hard, sizzling.

Ben lunged at Hux, every bit as violent as Kylo Ren had once been. He had tossed his lightsaber across the room violently, taking Hux with his bare hands. He grabbed the general across the throat and pinned him into the wall. It was obvious to Rey that the smaller man had not learned much in regards to hand-to-hand combat. His training had been anything but practical. 

He had others to fight for him, children he brainwashed from birth.

“If I am killed before I give the okay, my second in command will end Dameron’s miserable life, I can promise you that much, Ren.”

That paused Ben and Rey sighed in relief, watching. She wasn’t sure that Ben’s soul could take another death, even a well deserved one. Even if killing the general was the easiest path, it didn’t seem the right one. 

“What do you want?” Ben asked. He was not calm, or rational enough to negotiate, but Rey had to commend his attempt. “There’s nothing you can gain from him. He doesn’t have anything of value to you.”

“That’s interesting,” Hux chuckled, a distant look in his eyes. It amazed Rey that this was the general of the First Order, who had once appeared so calm, collected and composed. Now, he looked almost deranged. Losing had been enough to unravel him. “You seem to think that I value anything other than destroying you.”

“It’s a shallow motive,” Rey said, trying to distract. They needed Poe. “Just wanting to hurt one individual is meaningless, Hux. Nothing comes from it.” 

“You rendered my life’s work meaningless, girl.”

The man then leaned over and pressed a button on the panel in front of him. “Bring Dameron into my control room, please.” 

A half minute later, a disgruntled looking officer dragged a limp figure into the room and dropped it at the center. The figure was unresponsive and had trailed blood the entire way in. 

Ben lunged forward and took Poe’s side. In spite of an urge to do the same, Rey retrieved her lightsaber and stared Hux down. If it came to it, she knew that she would kill him in order to save Ben. She would do what she had to for the man who had given so much of himself to darkness. 

“Ben…” she whispered, calling out to him with her voice and her mind, but Ben was frozen in space. She knew that he could hear and see nothing except for Poe. Ben was frozen in space and Hux was overjoyed at his pain. 

~

Ben was frozen. As much as he tried to think, to act, he found that he could not. Poe lay prone on the floor, unconscious and broken. His upper body was bare and coated in a thick layer of dirt and blood. Long red lash marks slashed over his back and shoulders. His left leg was tucked under his body in an angle that was unnatural, wrong. His face was unrecognizable. 

“Poe…” he whispered, the sound broken and weak. He was so very weak. He would always be weak. Snoke was right about one thing. 

“Such a cocky thing,” Hux said with a laugh, shaking his head. “He came in so strong, with a lot of quick retorts and witty comebacks. So, I decided to strip the skin off of him and then let my guards play. They’re dying, you know. It was a gift.” 

There was a pause and then Hux said, “Wake up.”

It took a moment for Ben to notice, but the general went and slammed his fist down on a button in the console. Poe’s unconscious form then began to shake in Ben’s arms, jolted by electrical impulse. It was barely visible, the implant in Poe’s body, a tiny pin prick sized lump in his neck 

Poe’s eyes opened.

“Ben!”

Ben stayed at Poe’s side, but called upon the force to squeeze at Hux’s throat, cutting off the windpipe in a way he’d done a million times before as an intimidation tactic. This time, however, he was choking off his lifeforce with intent to kill.

It would be better this way. He would die, and then Ben would be able to take Poe home.

“No.” 

He felt Rey in his mind.

“No. Ben.” 

He dropped Hux and took a blaster bolt to the chest that flung him into the wall. 


	4. Chapter 4

He had used his abilities to such an extent that Hux collapsed in a heap on the floor. The next wave of blaster fire immediately missed them. Ben didn’t even feel the pain of the bolt that had hit him in the back. It hurt, but pain was so far from him. It was like the singed, burnt flesh was numb.

Rey swung her lightsaber and covered Ben and Poe. 

“Get him out to the transport,” she ordered firmly. “I’ll take out the rest.” 

He didn’t want to leave her alone, but the alternative was to leave Poe’s side and he didn’t feel physically capable of it. Afraid of hurting him by touching him, he concentrated his energy and lifted Poe by the Force. The pilot had fallen back under, but was still making small, faint sounds under his breath. 

“Don’t be afraid,” he whispered. “I’m going to get you home.”

He could hear the action behind him, but he could not allow himself to think of Rey as he loaded Poe onto the ship. He wasn’t even sure the pilot could survive the trip back in the rickety craft made for two. Poe’s head lolled to the side and Ben’s heart raced.

“You aren’t allowed to leave me,” he murmured, securing Poe as best as he could. 

Rey dove into the ship, the doors closing behind her. “Ben, I need my co-pilot,” she said, demanding his presence. They engaged the flight sequence and he took the controls. 

Ben couldn’t help himself, continuously looking at Poe as they first maneuvered. Then, he had to pay attention, because someone was left alive on the First Order base. The craft spun out, Ben crying out in shock as his shoulder that had taken the bolt was jarred. Poe made a sound that reminded Ben of a wounded animal.

Luckily, Rey was a sincerely gifted pilot. She yanked on the controls, returning them to a stable position as they sped out of the planet’s orbit and back into space. Ben didn’t breathe until they were back en-route to the Resistance base.

“I’ve got the flight from here.”

Ben left the pilot’s seat, moving back to where they had propped Poe up in the back of the craft. His left eye was swollen shut, but his eyes were as open as they could be. He was watching them.

“Can you hear me?” Ben asked. He took hold of his hand, only to find that one of his hands was broken. He moved to the other. “If you can hear me, Poe, can you squeeze my hand?”

Poe squeezed his hand, weakly.

Good. He was alive. Ben imagined if he could talk there would be a smart-alec comment in that moment. 

The arrival on base was not a pretty one. Command was furious. Ben vaguely heard Rey getting berated over trusting him and risking the entire operation, or something like that, but found that his ability to listen was severely limited as he followed Poe into medical.

“He has something there,” Ben pointed out, gesturing to the device that Hux had used on Poe.

The nearest med droid ran a sensor over his body. “It’s one of several,” it said in a low, mechanical voice. “Incredibly new technology. My database has only covered early prototypes of such a device…” 

“Can you remove it?”

“Not alone,” the droid said, without a second’s hesitation. Ben found, at times, that he got on better with droids than with other lifeforms. At least, the majority of them were incapable of dishonesty. “Removal of these devices could be devastating to Commander Dameron.”

-

Rey took the words calmly. After all, the Resistance was a military structure, this was a war, and she had disobeyed direct orders. She deserved the critique, but at the same time, she had no regrets. 

“I had to save him,” she said when she was dismissed. “This movement needs him, and so does Ben.” 

She knew that the needs of Kylo Ren, a former enemy, were not at the top of anyone’s priorities. Not now. Yet, Ben’s needs were on the top of her list. She would do whatever it took.

She found Ben standing outside the med bay. He was wearing dark robes. She recalled what he was wearing before, a uniform stained with Poe’s blood, but she hated the imagery -- the feeling he had reverted back into his own inner darkness with this. 

“Ben. Did they treat your wound? You took a hit. Is it burnt?”

“Yes. It doesn’t hurt anymore. Didn’t in the first place.” 

“Tell me about him.”

“Medic is working with droids right now to remove the implants in his body,” Ben murmured, the words soft, delicate. “Wrong move and it’ll kill him.”

She looked in his eyes. Of course he was worried, but there was something else in those warm brown orbs. Agony that came straight from the source of him.

“Ben, what is it?”

“When I saw him bleeding and broken like that, a link opened up. It’s not quite like the thing between us, but...I can feel him. See into his mind a little, like I was trying to or something…” 

“Feel him?”

“He’s coming in and out of it and I can get flashes of what Hux did to him. If the man isn’t dead, I am going to find him and rip him limb from limb.” 

Ben let out a sob. It was sudden and firm sound that jolted Rey to life. She didn’t even know that he was capable of crying. Well, yes, she did, but it seemed unreal, like something out of a fairy tale. She knew that she should jump to his aide, but her instinct was to stand and swivel on a heel. 

Ben looked up at her.

Rey got hold of her conflicting emotions and leaned over, pulling him into a hug. While he was still seated, Ben’s head went up to her chest. She brushed her fingers through his hair. He got hold of himself and was quieter, but still in tears, chest heaving with each difficult breath. 

“You really loved him, didn’t you?” Rey asked. She did not mean to sound so skeptical, so doubtful of Ben’s intentions, but it seemed strange, a relic of a past she wasn’t involved in. 

“I told my mother I was going to marry him,” Ben murmured after a long period of silence. “I was...ten years old, but still.” 

“He will be okay,” Rey assured.

“Officer Solo, we need you…” 

The droid snapped them both out of their daze. Very few in the Resistance addressed Ben by any name at all, but only the droids were this respectful. 

Ben got up. 


	5. Chapter 5

“You want to do a Force-assisted surgery,” Rey repeated, looking from the last surviving resistance medic, a pretty young woman named Mira, over to Ben, who had gone a bit pale at her instructions.

“My mother was gifted in that way,” the woman explained. “Her abilities were weak, but she worked with Skywalker for a time. I watch things around here. I know things. I know how powerful you are.” 

“This seems absurd…” Rey said, because Ben didn’t seem to be talking. 

“I can’t do that.” Ben finally spoke. “It’s too delicate. What if I lose control? The dark is too much, and I’ve been trying to avoid…”

“If anyone on that base survived, they may have remote access to these devices,” the medic said firmly. “We aren’t far enough out of range. There is a constant risk that someone could activate them and kill him instantly.” 

“What about other methods of surgery?” Rey asked.

“He’s lost too much blood,” she explained, “and I’m afraid, personally, that he is going to go into shock and not come out. I don’t know what was done to him, specifically, but…”

Ben swallowed and nodded. Rey knew that he knew, that he had seen it in his mind. 

“Let’s do it.” 

-

Seeing Poe there, eyes closed and body prone showed Ben two things. First, it was a clear cut picture of the damage that had been done. The largest wounds were sealed hastily, but there were deep lacerations, burns that had not even been tended to. The broken bones had been hastily taped together at his sides. 

After Ben reeled from that shock, he had to admit that memories were flooding his mind. He could not deny them. He had seen Poe like this before, prone, injured. It was nothing nearly as dire, but they had been teenagers, and the young pilot had crashed his ship. “My father is going to kill me…” Poe had laughed, before passing out entirely. 

It had just been a mild concussion from hitting his head on the console, but Poe had looked just the same. All of the character had drained from his expressive face and he was just silent and still. Poe had never been one to be immobile, still for more than a moment’s time. 

“Can you feel the devices?”

Ben cleared his mind, allowing the old memories to slip away. He closed his eyes and placed his hand just above the prone body beneath him. As he did, he could see the mania in Hux’s eyes as he beat Dameron down. He was almost, for a moment, overwhelmed by how much fear had lead to Hux’s violence. Fear and hopelessness was that powerful.

“There are five of them,” he said, his voice not even sounding like his own. He lightly touched a bruised patch of skin on Poe’s collarbone. “The first is here.” 

He slowly located all five of the devices. The medic leading the surgery was especially about the one in his lower chest. 

One was located in his left arm, in an area where they wouldn’t risk Poe bleeding out, so they started there. Ben tried to watch without expression as the medic cut into the skin above his hastily bound broken arm. A moment later, it popped out, the size and shape of a tiny black insect. 

The next was the one near his collarbone. Ben felt Poe’s mind awaken, even under the anesthetic drugs in his system. An alarm sounded. 

“Do something!” Mira screamed.

Ben panicked, and did the only thing he could think of. It was something that he never wanted to do without consent, but at the same time he knew he had to. He entered Poe’s mind.

It was instant and overwhelming in that it was so easy. Ben had always found entering a mind to be one of the most difficult tasks. It was draining, any any time he’d been asked to do it as a form of interrogation, he had felt sick, empty afterward.

Yet, with Poe it came naturally and he slipped inside.

He found himself in a familiar place. It was Poe’s family home on Yavin IV. It was a place he had visited as a child, a place where he listened to Poe’s father tell stories of the war, of fighting and the Force. He sought out Poe and found him, near the tree Luke had given his parents.

“It looks fine, but it feels like it’s dying,” Poe explained, when Ben reached him. The tree did not look any different than it had when they were kids, and Poe proudly explained its origins to little Ben, who had reached out and felt the energy inside of it. “Do you feel it?”

Ben walked over and touched the tree, feeling the energy of the tree waning. 

“He broke me…” Poe admitted, as Ben flooded the tree with his own lifeforce, giving it back the vitality that it once had. “He broke me, because he knew that it would break you. Does that mean you still love me?”

“Of course I do.” 

The words came out instantly. There was no use at all in hiding them. He was in love with Poe, and even if his former love could never feel the same way, he would still… for the rest of his life, he would. 

Poe let out a sudden gasp of breath and Ben reached forward, touching his arm. It didn’t matter that none of this was real, that it was all inside of Poe’s mind. 

“What is it?”

“Hurts,” Poe whispered. “It’s here.” He gestured to below his stomach, nearly against his hip. “This one. It’s going to...ah!”

Ben was jolted out of Dameron’s mind. He fell backwards and looked to Rey. 

“He’s stable, Ben. What is it?”

“The one there,” he said, looking from her to Mira. “We need to get that one next.” 

An electrical jolt rocked Poe’s body.

“He’s seizing,” Mira said. “Hold him down.” 


	6. Chapter 6

Rey watched as Mira cut the device out of the space between Poe’s stomach and hip bone. She did so with a precision that seemed almost magical. Rey did what she could for Poe as well, using her weak grip on the Force to try and ease Poe’s mind as his body shook. 

“I’ve got it.” 

The device was pulled from Poe’s body and no sooner did Mira have it in her hands then did it explode. She jolted back, clutching her burnt hand. Poe went rigid again, flat on the table. Ben went to his aid, so Rey went to the woman’s. 

“Don’t worry about me,” she said, batting Rey’s hand away. “It’s just a mild burn and I have one more to remove.” 

A few moments later and the surgery was done. “Amazing technology,” Mira said, still holding tightly to her burnt hand. “Unfortunately, they’re disintegrating or exploding, one-by-one. I think he’ll wake up… Just give it time.”

That time, unfortunately, was a lot of time and Rey could see Ben’s eyes start to droop. She honestly could not recall a time he’d slept in days. “Go,” she told him, looking at him for a long moment. He listened to few people, but he would listen to her if she tried hard enough. “Ben, do you think you can sleep awhile? I can stay…”

Ben looked at her helplessly. 

“Why don’t you both go rest?” Mira suggested. “I’m going to get this burn treated and then just sit with him for awhile. I’ll update if anything changes…” 

Ben opened his mouth like he was going to object, but Rey silenced him with a look. 

A few moments later and they were alone in Ben’s quarters. It was a small place, somewhere the Resistance had thrown him when they decided Ben was one of their own. The small bed was barely big enough for the two of them, but still, they laid down together. 

“I was in his head,” Ben said, once she had laid down awkwardly beside him. “I don’t even know how it happened… but when he was crashing, I...somehow got inside.” 

“You’ve never done it that way before?”

He averted his eyes, and she could feel his shame. “I’ve never done it without meaning to,” he said, taking a deep breath. “It was like … he was in pain and I was just drawn right into him.” 

“It works in mysterious ways,” Rey said, unable to add anything else. She sighed and then reached over, touching his shoulder. It was awkward, but she wanted nothing more than to curl up in his arms. “Ben, you need to sleep.”

Ben felt her urge, and then pulled her closer. It seemed necessary on her end as well. Rey felt safe, comforted by the big, warm arms that were wrapped around her. She leaned her head against his chest, listening to the thumping of his heart against his chest. 

Rey just spent a long time lying there, listening. The sound of Ben’s heartbeat was like a warmth that was cast all over her body. Soon, his heartbeat slowed and she knew he was falling asleep. 

She rolled in towards him, hoping that it would allow him the comfort that he needed to sleep.

It seemed like time stopped moving and she fell asleep tucked against his side. When she woke up, there was a steady breeze against her cheek and she knew that Poe was awake. She wasn’t even sure how she knew that. The knowing was so real though, that she knew it had to be one hundred percent truth.

Beside her, Ben slept. He was a beautiful man, but she thought that beauty was even more intense when he was sleeping. When he was asleep, the pain and loss seemed to slip away and leave something that was pure, innocent.

She leaned over and kissed his cheek, a brief, tender gesture. Then she got up and put on her clothes. She needed to see to Poe and leave Ben to rest. 

Poe was awake, and confused, frantically trying to pull at the machinery in spite of the droids desperate pleas. Mira came running into the room just as Rey did.

“Commander Dameron!” the medic yelled. “Please stop!” 

“Hey!”

Rey stepped forward and put her hand on Poe’s shoulder. Even with the drugs he was on, he had to feel the pain of that forceful push. 

His eyes cleared up, in spite of their cloudiness. “Rey,” he gasped. His voice sounded raw, almost inhuman for a moment. “Rey. I’m...I’m alive. I’m here. Where’s Ben?”

Rey calmed down and let go, brushing back his hair, pushing it out of his eyes. His face was bruised, especially around his left eye. He had scabbing at the base of his scalp that looked as though someone had been yanking at his hair, hard. 

“He’s back in his room, asleep,” she soothed.

“I felt him,” Poe said. “It was like a dream, but it wasn’t, was it?”

“No, it wasn’t,” she said, reaching for his hand, the one that wasn’t broken. He took it and squeezed, lightly. “Ben went inside your mind to help you.” 

Poe nodded, a peacefulness crossing his face. “You two came for me,” he said. “God, he wanted to tear me apart… He did tear me apart.” 

“He was desperate and afraid. He wanted to make Ben suffer.” 

“Ben loves me. Ben still loves me.”

Rey smiled at that, wearily. Yes, there was the slightest bit of jealousness in her, as their love was something pure and beautiful. It was tarnished by pain and hurt, but it was still beautiful. 

“He loves you with all of his heart,” she promised. “His heart is lost and confused, but it loves you.” 

Poe’s weary face curled into a smile. “Good,” he said, “because I still love him too.”


	7. Chapter 7

The reunion with Poe was terrifying. Ben took a deep breath and took his hand. That was when his heart nearly stopped. They had never talked about it, about the past, and about their feelings. Ben knew that nothing would ever be the same, but those feelings were still alive.

“So, you came to the rescue,” Poe said, voice raw. Ben was hit with the realization that the hoarseness was from screaming and his stomach clenched. “Thank you. I didn’t think anyone was coming this time…” 

Ben bit his lip, feeling the slight sting of pain and relishing in the way it cleared his mind. “Rey, she was the smart one,” he said softly. “She was the one who found our way. She was the one who kept the level head.” 

“She is something else,” Poe groaned out. He looked up at Ben with wide, vulnerable eyes. “Is he dead, Ben?”

There was no question as to who Poe was referring to. “I don’t know,” he said, softly, even though he felt a great doubt. Shame crossed his face. He wished he could tell Poe that he’d killed the man who did this to him. “I wanted to tear him limb from limb, but we had to prioritize getting you home…” 

“They’re going to be done for in a matter of weeks,” Poe whispered. “I heard someone say that. The war is over and we’ve won.”

Poe didn’t say it, but Ben could read it in him. The war was over and the Resistance had won, but it did not quite feel like the victory they dreamed of. There was also something else, the quiet feeling that it was not over quite yet. 

Poe went quiet, and his eyes were closed, so for a moment, Ben thought the pilot had fallen asleep. Then, he spoke, eyes still closed tightly. 

“I missed you, Ben.” 

The words were simple, quiet, and meant just about everything. He tried to answer, but Poe beat him to speaking. 

“I used to make myself sick missing you,” he whispered, his voice wavering on the words. “I would cry and fuss and just...make everyone else miserable. It hurt so much to see you go.”

“I’m sorry.” 

The words meant very little, but they were the only ones he had. 

“I know you are,” Poe murmured. “Doesn’t fix what was broken, but it means a lot. I thought I was going to die without getting to tell you I forgive you.” 

“You forgive me?”

Poe chuckled at that, his voice distant. “I thought that would be obvious,” he groaned. “I forgive you and I didn’t have to die to do it. I gotta say it, I’m pretty glad I’m not dead right now…even though this hurts like hell.”

“Should I get more…” 

Poe shook his head. “No,” he said softly. “She has me on so many drugs it’s not even funny. I’d rather her not increase the dose.”

“You should sleep,” Ben said. He knew it wasn’t much, but sleep would do so much good. 

“Can’t do much else.”

Ben watched as Poe drifted off, trying to etch the details into his mind. He was such a beautiful man, and looking at him had always pleased Ben so much. He loved him, and always would. 

Rey came down to check on him a little while later. Ben wasn’t even certain how much time had passed. It had been some time, however, and Poe had stayed asleep for the duration of it. 

“How is he?” she asked, her voice lowering as she took Poe in for herself. 

“Sleeping pretty well for some time,” Ben replied. “He’s in a lot of pain, but he’s stronger than anyone gives him credit for being. He’ll recover from this.” 

“He said he forgave you.” 

Ben blinked, surprised. Obviously, Rey had been with him when Poe had said those important words. It was surprising, however, because he always felt her when she had joined him through the bond. 

“I didn’t feel you there,” he told her quietly. “That’s not how it usually goes…” 

“You were a bit preoccupied,” Rey murmured in reply, looking away from Poe. Surprisingly, Ben could hear a bit of sadness in her voice, something that he didn’t understand. “I am really happy that he forgives you. I knew he would. Poe is strong willed, but he has the biggest heart.” 

“Are you okay?” Ben asked. “I feel sadness in you…” 

Rey shook her head, almost immediately. “I’m not sad.” She then tried to explain herself, looking down at her hands. “I’m tired, Ben, that’s all. We’ve been fighting this war, and my friend is hurt…” 

“And it’s a war that we’re winning,” he retaliated, wishing that she would tell him the truth. He knew that Rey owed him absolutely nothing, but at the same time he wanted her to tell him the truth. “I know that you’ve been through a lot, but what is it? Please…” 

“It’s just jealousy, plain and simple. Please ignore it, Ben. Poe is hurt.” 


	8. Chapter 8

“What are you jealous of?”

Ben asked that simple question and Rey felt her heart leap into her throat. It was a stupid feeling, the one that was lingering in the back of her mind. Rey was a warrior, struggling to become a Jedi, and her friends were fighting a war.

She did not need silly, childish romantic love getting in the way of her goals. She did not need her feelings for Ben to become a problem, in a world where there were so many worse problems.

“You,” she said, unable to be anything but honest. “I can see the way that you love Poe, and I know that in spite of everything, Poe loves you too. I know that it’s stupid to feel anything but overjoyed for you, but…”

“You…”

Rey nodded. 

What happened next was enough to stop her heart and knock her off of her feet. Ben leaned over and kissed her, slowly. Their lips brushed together, the friction gentle, tender. Ben cupped her cheek with his hand and then pulled back. 

Although his actions had been clear, his expression was far more confusing. When their lips parted, she could see the tiniest traces of panic there. “You kissed me,” she said, idiotically. Kissing Ben like that was something she had dreamed of for a long time, ever since their bond had begun. Yet, she had always imagined it was just a childish fantasy, the idea of rescuing him and falling in love.

“I kissed you,” Ben agreed, and the slight smile that curled his lip was beautiful.

“I don’t understand,” Rey said, feeling like an idiot, at least in that moment. “Ben, you love Poe, don’t you?”

“I do.” Ben’s words came out quietly, a whisper that reminded Rey of the windstorms on Jakku. “I know it seems to make no sense. It makes no sense to me either… I do love him. I have loved him since I was a teenager, but...this is something else.” 

“Something else,” Rey repeated against his lips. She leaned down and kissed him herself, wanting to make sure that it was real. As their lips touched again, she realized that it was and Ben tasted sweet. “I’m in love with you…”

The words came out before she’d even realized she’d said them. Ben pulled back slightly and looked at her. His dark eyes were soft, a bit hazy. 

“That means everything to me.”

The next few days were busy ones. Rey found the activity welcome. They kept her mind off of Poe’s condition and her feelings for Ben. 

Poe’s condition improved steadily over the days that passed, but Rey was still worried. He had been physically, mentally and emotionally broken by his enemy. She had only talked to him briefly, but she could see the strain in his eyes. 

“Don’t worry so much about me,” Poe had said dismissively, eyes glazed over with pain and the medications. “I’m going to bounce back from this one. I always do. What you need to do is keep an eye on Ben for me…”

“Why would I keep an eye on him?” Rey asked, curiously. “He’s doing fine. He’s helping…”

Poe had coughed, looking up at her for a briefly lucid moment. “He’s still fighting to regain his soul,” he said with a nod, before his head lolled to the side again. “He needs you to remind him that he actually has one.” 

Rey found that surprisingly eloquent for the ramblings of a drugged man.

She and Ben spent some time together. It seemed that downtime was suddenly available, now that the tide of the war had truly turned. It was nice to be able to sit and talk. 

They were outside, near the base. The planet the Resistance had settled on was isolated, with very few life forms, but still Rey found it more pleasant and inviting than Jakku. There was running water, a breeze, and other things that she knew she would never take for granted. 

He held her hand while they sat there. It was nice, the simple, yet intimate gesture. It meant a lot to her, to have that warmth and physical contact.

Ben laughed. His warm laughter drew her out of her haze.

“What?” she asked.

“It’s just beautiful.”

“What is?”

Ben bit his lip, as he tried to explain. “The peace of this,” he managed, after a little while. “I think that for a little while, I stopped being able to feel peace and safety. I feel it when I’m with you, though. I feel like I belong.”

Rey, too, felt like she belonged, but she also felt a particular sense of unease that she did not like at all. It was like there was something looming over them, preventing the peace and recovery that they all needed so much.

“I feel it too,” Poe said, as she sat by his bed. He was recovering steadily. The implants in his body had left deep, open wounds that were slowly healing with proper care, and he had a total of eight broken bones. Those took a bit more time and Rey could tell he was getting restless. 

“What?” she asked.

“I feel what you’re feeling,” Poe said, looking at her with a sigh. “I feel a sense of dread, like something else is coming for us.”

“How did you know?”

“Instinct,” Poe said. “It’s been sharper since you rescued me.” 

Rey could only wonder why Poe was feeling that way. Still, she did not doubt it. “I don’t know why I’m feeling this way,” she admitted, her voice uncertain. “I mean, it seems foolish to think this way. The First Order is on the brink of destruction.”

“Bastard who did this to me is alive.”

“How do you know?”

Poe’s eyes sparkled a bit with a dark mischief. “Instinct,” he laughed out bitterly. 


	9. Chapter 9

Ben could recall a lesson that his uncle had taught, years earlier. He had been taught to meditate, to go into a sort of trance, allow the Force to show him what the Force needed him to see. 

“Sometimes, there is a lesson just waiting around the corner,” Luke had said, the smug grin on his face that made Ben want to punch him. “You never know what might be waiting for you, if you manage to close your eyes.” 

So, Ben had meditated then. Most of the time, he would get nothing, but occasionally there would be something, something beautiful.

He could recall a day, when he and Poe were in the new stages of their relationship. He was only a teenager, in love with the older pilot in a way that was dopey, silly. He had meditated then and saw Poe and his marriage. 

It had taken place outside of Poe’s childhood home on Yavin IV. Ben had recognized the lush, beautiful scenery immediately. There had been a shadow there, however, a lurking vision of a young woman.

When he had pulled out of the meditation, he had asked Luke. 

“The visions are not always clear,” Luke murmured. “Do you think marriage is something that will happen between you and Dameron?”

“I hope so.” 

Although Luke was often unclear about how much he believed in the old Jedi ways of no-contact, no-connections, Ben was always very clear about his own intentions. He didn’t care what Jedi did or what they were supposed to do. He would do as he needed to do, regardless of what those words meant. 

“I see,” Luke said. He was trying not to offer judgement, and Ben could tell that much. Still, he could read the judgement in his eyes, his subtle movements. “Do you think it’s implying that Dameron has a girl on the side, then?”

Well, he hadn’t been before the man brought it up. Ben practically sprinted out of his uncle’s company at that. Luke Skywalker was a living legend, a hero in their community, but he was also absolutely clueless to the effect of his words at times.

Poe had laughed, Ben recalled. “Oh yes, I’m hiding so many secret lovers,” he had joked, before his eyes softened, acknowledging Ben’s unease. “Ben, sweetheart, you were the first to say that the Force makes no sense sometimes.” 

“It’s just a stupid dream,” he said, knowing that Poe was more faithful than anyone else in the galaxy. His love was one of the few things that Poe had never doubted, not for an instant. “Don’t worry about it.” 

Now, years later, that vision came back to mind. He and Poe getting married, something that had never happened for them, and the marriage being overshadowed by a woman. Well, his heart was split in between the love of two people, but split wasn’t exactly the right word. It was not the one that he was looking for.

“My heart isn’t split,” he said out loud, trying to process the thought. “It’s not split at all. It’s just something that belongs to more than one person.” 

On the surface, it made sense. He had loved Poe for years, and Rey had made her way into his heart in the strangest way. So now, he felt for both of them and honestly, he couldn’t feel guilt about it. No, he had far too much to feel guilty about to allow that to get in the way.

Ben went back into the base. He was looking for Rey, hoping they could have a little time together, when he paused, stopping in his tracks completely. 

The feeling of unease hit him in several waves. There was something out there, something in the distance reaching out to him. It felt like those nights when he was a child, alone in his bed, and he could still feel Snoke on the air, listening to him, feeling him in ways he had never imagined possible. 

“Rey!” he yelled.

He saw her standing near the shipyard. She was alone, except for Poe’s droid, the attentive little thing chirping and pressing against her legs. She was standing frozen.

Rey couldn’t move. Out of nowhere, it felt as though a hand was gripping her by the throat. She closed her eyes and tried again, to pull away from the tight grasp, but she could not. She felt a presence that was familiar, yet made no sense, because that presence was that of someone who was dead. 

“Snoke.” 

The familiar laugh roared and she tried again to get out of the grasp. 

“You’re dead!” she yelled out. “I watched Ben kill you. You couldn’t control him, no matter how hard you tried. You couldn’t destroy him!”

Snoke laughed at her words and spoke to her, as clear as if he was standing behind her. “I am dead,” Snoke agreed, as though the fact was merely an inconvenience. “I am dead, but my legacy lives on in both of those boys. The one who got away and the one who lives still to hate him. It will be fun to watch them destroy each other.” 

Rey was tossed out of the vision like she meant absolutely nothing. She dropped down to the floor. Luckily, there was a pair of strong arms around her, there to catch her. Ben caught tight hold of her, both arms wrapped around her form. She felt tiny against him. 

“It felt like him…” Ben murmured, his eyes darkening. When she looked up into them, she could see the years of pain he had endured. “But it wasn’t. I watched him die, Rey. I killed him.” 

“I don’t think it was him,” Rey whispered, looking into those deep, dark eyes that she had loved so long. “But it said that...that you and Hux will destroy each other with the hate he bred in you.” 

“Hux. He’s alive?”

“I don’t know, Ben,” Rey murmured sharply. “It was just a dream.” 

It was hard for Ben to dismiss things, however, as ‘just a dream,’ when he knew the destructive power that a dream had. Especially for people like them, those controlled by something so far beyond their control. 

“I have to find him and destroy him.” 

“Destroy him?” Rey asked, still leaning up against his chest. “Ben, how?” 

“I don’t know, but I’m going after him.”

Making sure, briefly, that Rey was okay, Ben left her there. He projected his will as best as he could, through the waves of the Force.

“I am coming for you.”    



	10. Chapter 10

“I’m going.”

“Are you crazy?” Rey asked. Poe sat up in bed in front of her, wincing at the very effort of that. There was no way that he was going to join her to chase after Ben Solo. “Poe, you can barely sit up.”

Poe forced himself up in bed, a weary smile crossing his handsome face. It was amazing to Rey that he could look so handsome while so physically and mentally damaged. “He’s going to get himself killed,” Poe explained, grunting under his breath. “That vision you had, that...that says a lot about Ben. He is going to let this anger, this violence, this urge for revenge destroy him. He will unless we stop him.”

“I couldn’t stop him,” Rey said, suddenly feeling a little bit guilty. She was supposed to be a Jedi, as strong as Ben if not stronger. “I was just so frozen by the dream that I had. I don’t think I’ve ever had a dream that felt so real…” 

“I doubt that it was just a regular old dream,” Poe murmured.

“You think it was some kind of Force vision?” Rey asked, knowing that she, too, felt the same, but the doubt was still there. She wasn’t sure what it meant, or what it could mean. “I mean, Snoke is dead. I was there and I saw Ben slice in him half.”

“I think it might have been,” Poe murmured, considering the words as he said them. “You and Ben are two of the most powerful people in the entire galaxy. I trust in the power that both of you seem to possess.” 

“What, so you think he’s back from the dead to torment us?” 

“Not exactly,” Poe said, eyes still narrowed. “I still can’t even begin to fathom what Snoke did to Ben. It makes sense that he would still exist in some form, even if he is dead.” 

“I guess you’re right,” Rey murmured. She wished she shared Poe’s confidence and certainty in what he was saying. “But...do you really think that...you know, Hux is out there?”

Poe winced at just the man’s name. Rey could not even imagine the torture that he had endured at the other man’s hand. “I do,” he said. “I don’t think the bastard could do us a favor and just die.” 

Rey nodded, slowly. 

“I decided, when we first started fighting,” Poe murmured, voice strained, “that I was going to go down swinging. That’s why I always came in with as much of an attitude as I could manage, cracking jokes, showing confidence. I tried my best to treat Hux as a joke. I guess that came around and beat me in the long run.” 

Rey sighed as she saw the pain in his eyes. She reached forward and brushed his hair out of his eyes. He smiled a bit at the gesture, but it was a smile tinged with sadness. 

“I am glad that I infuriated him,” Poe admitted, a bit of a sigh escaping his lips. “It meant that he used me to hurt Ben, instead of...someone else.” 

Rey knew that the someone else Poe was referencing was, in fact, her, but she was not sure that Hux would realize. After all, she was just the nobody who happened to pull in Kylo Ren. She was not the long lost love. She was not what Poe was to him. 

“Do you still love him?” she asked. 

“Yeah, of course.” Poe said, with a somber smile. “And so do you. Neither of us wants him to get himself killed, right?”

“You could say that.” 

Poe nodded. “So we have to do this. Whatever the cost.”

As much as she wanted to avoid this, she knew there was no way to deal with it other than to take Poe along. So, that night, she used the Force on poor Mira, convincing her that Poe was still asleep in his bed.

“I don’t feel good about that.” 

Poe looked at her for a moment, then at the back of the young medic’s head. She could tell by the unease in his face that he wasn’t pleased with what they had done either.

“I don’t feel so great myself,” he mumbled after a long moment. “Sorry.” 

They left the medical wing, Poe limping a bit as they did. He clutched his right side. 

“Are you serious?” Rey asked. She couldn’t help the anger in her voice. Poe was an idiot, an absolute idiot. “It’s the wound near your shoulder, isn’t it?” 

“It hurts a lot, even after being repaired and treated,” Poe admitted. “I know she took those things out of me, but this one here radiates all the way down my side.”

“Are we still doing this?”

Poe gave her a weary smile. She knew that his charm was legendary for a reason. “Of course we are,” he said with a grin on his face. “Our Ben is in danger, and neither of us would do anything less.”

“Our Ben?” 

Rey couldn’t help smile at that. It was strange and didn’t make sense, but it made her hopeful and enthusiastic to do this, even though the risk to all of their lives was immense. 

“Rey! Poe!”

Rey turned around and saw Finn standing in the corridor. He was looking at them with a distraught expression. 

“Hi…”

“Okay, I know that you shouldn’t be out of medical,” Finn said, looking at Poe pointedly. “What’s going on?” 

Rey sighed. “It’s Ben. He’s gone.” 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will admit I'm a little stuck with this.

“Well, after the rescue stunt you and...Ben pulled, I doubt that you’re going to be able to get hold of a ship.” Finn swallowed, and closed his eyes. Rey knew that Finn, more than anyone, had struggled with acknowledging Ben’s attempts to change. “How did you get out of bed, Poe?”

Poe’s eyes flickered towards Rey and she blushed, just slightly. It was shameful to her, that she had used her gifts for something that felt so wrong, but at the same time she couldn’t do this alone. Poe loved Ben as much as she did. 

“I don’t know where he is, but I think he went back after Hux.” Rey looked at Finn for a long time, hoping she could implore her friend to understand just how important this was to her. Poe looked off in the distance, next to him, pain crossing over his face. “I’m afraid that he’s going to get himself killed before the night is done.” 

Finn’s conflict was obvious. He, like many of the other Resistance members, couldn’t help think that it wouldn’t be a tragedy if the man who was once Kylo Ren died. It hurt her heart to see such conflict in such a very good man. 

“You could feel him,” Poe said, still clutching his side in a way that made her uneasy. “You and Ben still have a bond between you.” 

Rey blinked. The fact that she had not thought of that was a clear indicator of her mindset. 

“Alright, I’ll try that before we go,” she said, hoping that would ease Finn’s mind. Maybe there was a chance that she could keep Poe from risking his life by calling out to him. She had grown to control the bond between herself and Ben a little more. She closed her eyes and flung her consciousness outward on a wave of the Force.

It took a long time before she felt anything remotely close to Ben. There was a silence all around her, and she kept feeling drawn in by the warm, life-filled presence of her companions. She tried to remember everything that Luke Skywalker had taught her in their brief time together. 

That was when she found him. Ben was alone in a very dark place, and she wasn’t sure if that darkness was physical, or something inside of him. 

“Ben,” she called out. “Ben Solo, I need you to look at me this very instant.”

Ben looked at her. She could not see his surroundings, or what he was doing, but she could see him and that meant enough. He stared at her with those sad, damaged eyes, the same ones that had awakened the knowledge in her that Ben Solo was someone who could be saved. 

“Rey,” he said calmly. “I figured it would happen sooner or later. You can’t go chasing after me. You need to stay on the base and keep Poe safe. I am merely ending something that needs to be ended.” 

“You’re going to kill yourself over a petty case of revenge.”

“Look at him, Rey,” Ben urged, his voice heavy and the words nearly shaking. “Look at him and tell me that this is a petty case of revenge.” 

“Who?” she asked, anger clouding her words. “Poe?” She reached over and grabbed the pilot by the wrist, feeling his bare skin against the palm of her hand. She had never tried anything like this, but Ben’s carelessness, when the war was won, it incensed her. 

“Rey, what are you doing?” 

That was Poe’s voice. She could hear him on the edge of her consciousness. She felt guilty, because she had not asked him if he wanted this. Of course, she was not even sure she was doing what she was doing.

Until, he appeared between her and Ben.

“How did you do that?” Ben asked. His voice revealed the same childlike curiosity that he’d held when their bond first began. 

Rey shook her head, a quiet way of indicating that she did not know.

“What the…”

“What are you doing up?” Ben asked Poe, understanding immediately what his appearance meant. “You should be in medical.”

Poe at least looked a little bit ashamed, his eyes flickering from Rey to Ben. He seemed, at least to Rey, to be a little bit intimidated, although she was not sure of what. 

“I had to do what I had to do,” he said. “I didn’t want to make that choice but you went and ran away.” 

“I didn’t run away,” Ben argued, the look on his face one of pain, more suffering than Rey had imagined. “I didn’t run away. I just...I had to do something.”

“What are you going to do?” Poe asked. Rey couldn’t help notice the patience in his words. It did not sound like the Poe that she knew. He sounded tired. “Ben, where is he?”

“I am en route to the ship.”

“What ship?” Poe asked, the frustration evident in his words. 

“Hux and a few others escaped the base this morning. I felt them…” 

It hit Rey, in that moment, just how strong Ben was. People spoke often of her raw power, her gifts with The Force, but there was nothing quite like Ben Solo.

“Come home, Ben,” she begged. “We can handle this now, together.” 

“The three of us…” Poe added. 

Three of them. Yes. That was when Ben needed to realize. They shared a bond that was inseparable, an even though it was unconventional, she knew that the bond belonged to all three of them.

“I have to do this.”

With those words, Ben broke the bond. He disappeared before her and she was left sitting alone with Poe -- and Finn, who was incredibly freaked out.” 

“Rey, what the kriff just happened?” Finn asked, standing up and staring at them. “You two were both talking to him.”

“I pulled Poe in,” she said, holding onto her best friend’s hand and then staring at the wall behind him. It seemed to her like Ben should still be there with them, but he was nowhere to be seen. “I know where he is…” 

The ship they stole was worse than the one that Ben and Rey had stolen to go get Poe. The security in the hangars was even more intense than it had been before, and even with Rose’s help, all they were able to get was a little craft of Poe’s. 

“I told command that there would be a purpose to fixing these things up,” Poe said as they entered. He grunted, holding his side. Rey could see he was in a lot of pain and wished that she could help. “I used to love that, you know? Fixing old ships…” 

They got the thing to fly, although Rey wasn’t exactly sure how they had managed that much. The ship was in pretty poor repair, but maybe The Force was helping them get off the ground. Even Poe, who was a dedicated, experienced pilot raised his eyes at that.

Once they had gotten out of the Resistance’s space, she relaxed a bit and looked him over. He was a truly handsome man, all warmth and comfort. It was no wonder that Ben was madly in love with him. 

“Poe, I want to know more about you.”

Poe looked up at her words, a bit surprised. A wry smile crossed that handsome face. “Me?” he asked. “Why would you want to get to know me?”

“Well, because Ben loves you… and I lo…” She stopped, unsure if she should say those words in front of Poe. It might make the situation uncomfortable. 

Poe nodded. “I know, Rey,” he assured. “You love him as much as I do. That means everything to me, trust me on that.”

“It does.”

Poe nodded.

“What do you want to know about me?” he asked.

“Tell me about you as a child,” she said, then realized that she should have phrased that as more of a question. “Please.” 

Poe’s smile was light, easy and comforting in spite of everything. “I was born on Yavin IV. Have you heard much about it?”

Rey nodded. Yavin IV was featured in many of the old stories, stories that had passed through Jakku, and even in the Jedi texts. “It has a rich history,” she whispered. 

“It does,” Poe agreed. “My parents both fought in the Rebel Alliance.” 

Rey leaned forward and touched his hand. He turned it upward to hold hers. 

“What were they like?” she asked.

“My parents?” Poe asked delicately. 

Rey nodded.

“I don’t remember my mother as well as I’d like,” Poe admitted somberly, looking out past the controls. “She died when I was eight years old. I can remember riding in her ship though, clearly. She used to sit me on her lap while she flew. It was… a special moment.” 

Rey was quiet for a moment and Poe continued speaking.

“Her name was Shara. She was the bravest woman, according to Leia. I only really knew her as mom, though.”

Rey’s heart ached at the words. She was happy that Poe had such a wonderful mother, of course, but she wished she had one of her own. Family was a luxury that few people really appreciated.

“What about your father?” she asked earnestly.

“Kes Dameron,” Poe said with a proud smile. “Still alive, and even at his age, brilliant. He’s taken a leadership role on Yavin IV and everyone loves the man. I’d love for you to meet someday.”

“I hope we will.”

“I do too.” 

The moment of soft speech and care was broken by an incoming comm. The young man on the comm was young, probably younger than Rey, with dark skin and long hair that hung over his eyes.

“Don’t come,” the man said, a look of pain in his eyes. “I know that you are Commander Dameron, and you should not try and locate our ship.” 

“What are you talking about?” Poe asked, alarmed. 

“If you get into close proximity, than General Hux is going to…” 

There was a moment, and distress crossed the man’s eyes. Then there was a sound, clear as anything on the comm, of a blaster catching him in the back. 

The comm went dead.

“Who was he?” Rey asked, the words not really a question, but a musing out loud. 

“I don’t know…” Poe said. “But we need to go. Full speed ahead.” 

They found the ship, only an hour later. The landing dock opened right up for them. They were expected and walking right into a trap. 


	12. Chapter 12

There was a sad looking officer at the front of the ship and he just looked at them for a long moment, before he sighed and shook his head. “You’ll want to go into the main hall of the ship,” he said. “That way.” 

Rey exchanged a quick glance with Poe and they ran down the main hall. The ship was pretty typical of any large scale fighter, and she could feel Hux. She could feel his anger, his rage and the fact that he was no longer capable of maintaining his sanity.

"Poe..." she said softly. "I'm not sure what we are walking into."

"Neither am I," said Poe, "but I'm pretty insistent on the fact that we find Ben and bring him home."

She nodded. So was she. Ben needed to go home to the place where he belonged. 

They walked in to Hux being utterly destroyed. Ben had him up against the wall, and was choking the life out of him using the Force. Hux was grasping at his throat, face red and eyes bulging. He was going to die.

"Ben, stop!" Poe yelled.

Distracted by the sight of them, Ben let Hux drop to the floor. Rey was almost convinced, by the color of his skin, that they were too late and General Hux was dead. Yet, he was still alive. There was a faint rise and fall of his chest. 

"What are you doing here?" Ben asked. Rey got too close then and was overtaken by the man's energy. She hit the wall.

"Ben," Poe said, his voice loud and commanding. "As much as I want this bastard to die, it's meaningless."

Hux, who looked dead on the floor, laughed. He then rolled to his left side and forced himself up. "You're so kind, Dameron," he choked out in a voice that indicated at least a crushed windpipe. "I didn't do anything to you that Ren hadn't done to me..."

"I'm missing the part where he tortured you," Poe said, eyes going dark. Rey could see the fear in the corner of his mind. "I know he did some pretty screwed up shit, but not that." 

“It depends on your definition of torture.” Hux reached into the pocket of his uniform. Rey could sense his fingers moving, even though she did not see the action herself. “Ren took everything away from me. He destroyed decade of work…”

“You were never going to have what you wanted,” Ben murmured, the words so soft that Rey almost wondered if she had heard them. 

“What?” Hux rasped.

“You wanted to overtake Snoke,” Ben said, his voice dull, almost sad. “You wanted to eliminate Snoke, and then me. You had these delusions of grandeur that you’ve held since you were a child.”

“You know nothing of me!”

Ben sighed, and in that one sigh Rey could feel his sadness, the part of him that was just too tired to carry on. “Your story is typical, Armitage,” Ben said coldly.    
“You were abused by a father who thought of you as nothing. He destroyed your self-esteem, but he didn’t realize that he wasn’t the only player in your growth.”

“No?” Hux asked, almost amused.

“Of course not,” Ben said, the same iciness in his voice. “Snoke saw your weaknesses and drew you and Phasma close. He created a situation where you could rise through the First Order’s ranks and kill your dear old dad. He stoked your delusional sense of self and created from a child with no self-confidence an egomaniac who thought he could rule the galaxy. You were never capable.” 

Rey stared at Ben, with horror in her eyes. She had known that the man she loved was capable of cruelty, but the words just seemed so cold, so callous. “Ben…”

“No, let him go on,” Hux said. He then twitched his finger and Poe fell to the ground, writhing in pain,  “It will be amusing to watch Kylo Ren, and see if he can continue to talk that way as his beloved lays dying.”

“Poe!” Surprised by his falling, Rey forgot all of her training and dropped down to her knees next to the pilot. “What’s wrong with him? What did you do, you awful bastard!”

“Ooh, bastard,” Hux croaked, the words coming out as a low laugh. “The bane of my existence, being Brendol Hux’s bastard.” 

Ben then took the moment to fling Hux into the wall, raising him into the air. Rey could tell that he had used the Force to cut off Hux’s oxygen again. There was no ay the man was made to survive much more of that.

“Ben, stop.” 

Rey hated to use her own powers over Ben, but she found control of the tide that was the Force and sent Ben sprawling to the floor. The man that she loved hit it with a  sickening sound.

“Oh the girl has such fire,” Hux breathed through a broken body. There was no way he could live through this. “You stopped me because you think that if I die, there will be no way to save your idiot pilot.”

Rey blinked.  Those had been her exact thoughts, honestly. 

“Too bad,” Hux said, closing his eyes and lying flat. “I’m ready to die, Kylo Ren and there is no way to stop it.” 

Without much drama, or another word, Armitage Hux died. Rey could feel it on the force, the way that the life ebbed out of his form, to be taken over by another part of the Force. Death, Master Skywalker said, had its own sort of energy, and you could feel it in the Force, same as anything else. It was natural, beautiful, and horrible all at once.

Ben felt it too, because he went down on his knees next to Poe. Poe writhed, obviously in horrible pain and his eyes flashed open.

“Those things he put in me,” Poe said sadly. “They injected something before we took them out, I think. I’m so sorry, I love you both very much. I’m sorry it had to be..,”

“What do we do?” Ben asked.

Rey realized that he was begging her for answers she did not have.

A wave of energy hit her and it felt familiar. “Master Skywalker?” she asked. Rey’s eyes narrowed and she almost laughed at herself for  looking. He was gone, ascended. He was not with them.

Then, he was. “The Force is between every single thing,” he said softly. “In between and inside of your cells. It has called upon you and Ben in a way that has never been seen before. It has made you unique…”

 

Ben felt him before he saw him. He was an unmistakable presence, even as a ghost. 

“You need to save him.”

At that, his rage flared up. “What do I do?” he yelled. “How?” 

Skywalker smiled, a vague expression that looked warm, dreamy and frustrate Ben like nothing else ever had.

“You love him, and she loves you. Figure the rest out, kid.”


	13. Chapter 13

The words echoed in Ben’s ears. Figure the rest out, kid. That was Luke Skywalker in front of him. There was no mistaking it. 

“I can’t…”

“You can’t, alone,” Skywalker said quietly. “Nobody can do it alone. I, myself, learned very recently that isolation never helped anyone. So, go back to her Ben.”

Ben turned to look for Rey, and when he did so, Luke was gone. 

“Ben!” Rey screamed, down on the ground with Poe. The man was shaking in her arms. “Master Skywalker…”

“You saw him too?” he gasped, in surprise. 

“The bond,” she said. “That’s the way the Force has made us unique. It gave us our bond. There must be some way that we can use it to save him.”

He reached out and did the only thing that he knew how to do. Ben took her hand and held it, warm against his skin. The bond made them unique. 

Together, they jumped and fell into Poe’s mind.

“This is Yavin IV.”

Rey looked around. She had heard of the moon, of course, but seeing it was a different story altogether. It was a beautiful place. “We’re inside his mind,” she whispered. “Was it like this when you used to…you know, go inside...” 

Ben winced at her words ashamed of who he had once been. 

“No. This is very clear. It used to be more of a jumble of thoughts and feelings. I also don’t feel like I have control…”

Behind them, a ship landed. It was a small, personal ship. 

Moments later, the landing ramp extended and a woman walked out. She was tall, with dark hair and bright eyes. “C’mon Poe, let’s hurry up already,” she said with a laugh. “Last one to daddy’s a rotten egg.”

“Shara Bey,” Ben whispered under his breath. “His mother.”

“She’s beautiful…”

The woman was followed into the house by a lanky looking little boy of no more than eight or so. He was adorable and ran straight into a man’s arms.

Then, the image of the woman in front of Ben and Rey changed. It changed into a distorted creature, growing limbs and eyes, green and bulging. It was a sludge, a toxic, an evil. 

It felt like poison.

“Whatever he injected into Poe, it’s in his brain…” Ben said, feeling the seed of evil as it slithered through the head of the man he loved. “It’s killing him through his brain.”

Rey focused on the energy of the Force and decided that he was right. “Can we kill it?” she asked. 

“I think,” he said. “Luke said that our bond is the thing that makes us exceptional. He says that there’s nothing like it, even in the Jedi records…”

“Then hold my hand.” 

Ben took her hand and held it, tightly. He could feel Rey’s very unique brand of energy coursing through her. She had a uniqueness, a quality that was unlike anything in the entire universe. 

Ben opened his eyes and they were no longer on Yavin IV. Instead, they were in the middle of a space battle, in Poe’s fighter right along with him.

Before his mind could say that this wasn’t logical, that three bodies could not fit into the tiny space, the entire thing started spinning out.

“Poe!” he yelled. 

“This is Black One,” Poe called, seemingly unaware of the two presences that were inside of his mind. “I’m going down. I repeat, I’m going down.”

“Poe, you can’t die on us!” yelled a familiar female voice that Ben could not place. Then, he realized that it was his mother. She spoke with a desperation he had never heard, the sound of a grieving mother. It was a sound that he feared. “Poe, it’s his ship. It’s Ben’s ship…”

“I saved him, Leia…” Poe said. “He’s back with us. It’s okay. I can go.”

Ben reached past Rey, pushing her aside. He took Poe’s hands and wrenched the controls out of them.

“I love you,” Ben said, his words unwavering. “Poe, I know you can hear me. I love you. I loved you the entire time. Even as I was...pulled so far away. I loved you, and that was used against me.”

Rey took Poe by the other hand, gently. “Poe, I know how you feel about Ben, because I feel the same way,” she whispered. “I have a feeling that in time, I can feel the same way with you.”

All three of them yanked the controls in one direction, together. The ship turned and was able to avoid a slew of fire. 

“Land this ship, Poe,” Rey whispered.

They were able to land the ship together, the three of them, on a solid piece of ground. Rey felt the overwhelming urge to be sick as they hit the ground. 

She understood what the disease in Poe’s brain had manifested as. Below them, on the surface of the planet stood an exact image of Kylo Ren, the first time that she had seen him. It reminded her of her interrogation, and the way that Ben had reached into her, pulling out all the deepest insecurities and fears, all of those things that she had spent so much time keeping tight inside herself.

“I am never going away,” Kylo laughed, his voice marred by the mechanics of his helmet. “I am never going to leave you, and you will never have the boy you once loved back.”

“He’s right,” Ben said, as they, out of nowhere, exited the ship. Rey nearly stumbled with the sudden vertigo, but stood up straight.

“You will never have the boy you once loved,” Rey agreed, “but you will have more.”

“Kill the past,” Ben said. When he said those words, Rey looked at him, smiling fondly. They were words that were said to her a long time ago. It almost felt like that was another life, or another person. “The past isn’t who we are, Poe, but the love hasn’t faded, right?”

Ben and Rey were on either side of Poe as he stabbed Kylo Ren through the middle, echoing the same way that Kylo Ren had killed his own father. 

Poe awoke with a gasp, and Ben and Rey were pulled out of his mind.

“You killed it,” Poe whispered, leaning back against the wall and pressing his hand to it. “You two killed the disease. Surgery by Force?”

“Surgery by Force,” Ben repeated, stroking back Poe’s sweat soaked hair. “Let’s get you home, Commander.”


	14. Chapter 14

Two weeks later, the war was declared over. The officer in command looked at Poe and smiled. Her name was Talia, and she had taken over in his stead while he had been captured, then wounded, then gone again, and now she was more than ready to hand the mantle back over to its true owner.

“Leia Organa wanted you to lead this movement,” she said. “Now that the war is over, I think it’s time to hand it over to you.” 

Poe looked at Ben and Rey. Both had been at his side nonstop since they had returned home. He was tired, he was recovering and he just wanted to be with them. Their relationship was growing and beautiful and he was so proud of what it was becoming.

“I am hoping that there will someday be no need for us,” he said honestly. 

“No need for hope?” Talia asked with a laugh. “I doubt that, Poe. We’re going to need you as we start to rebuild the galaxy.”

“How about it?” Poe asked Ben, leaning over and kissing him. It was a light kiss, not nearly a reflection of all of the intense feelings he was experiencing, but Ben understood exactly what it meant. As he kissed Ben, he leaned over a bit more, so that he could get Rey’s hand too. “Do you think that the three of us could help restore the galaxy, together?” 

“There’s always hope,” Rey said.

“Especially,” Ben added, “when it feels like there’s none left.”

Poe nodded at their words. He had no idea what the future would bring to them, and honestly, the very thought of having a future was a strain to him. He had lived a life that was full of fighting, full of struggling, but had never really focused on the idea of recovery. Now, he was recovering, as was the entire galaxy. Perhaps he could do it, with the two last Jedi at his side. 


End file.
